pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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