I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
