I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
