I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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