I cannot find my penis.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Michael Bay diarrhea
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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