So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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