It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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