You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
