this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
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