You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
