This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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