Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My balls are so social today.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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