Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
