Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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