I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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