question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
