Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
