how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment