The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial