Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
