Quick, to the slutcave!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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