i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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