I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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