i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
