the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
