I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
