I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
