dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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