I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
God I need to hump something, right now.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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