i think my mom watched the whole time
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
