i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
