: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
