If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
