haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
