party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
