omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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