I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My dick has a subreddit
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
