just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
