well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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