So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize