I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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