Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize