I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize