Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
