Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
