Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
