I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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