you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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