yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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