Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
