i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
