Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
