ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
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you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
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Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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