He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Vodka?
Forever.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
