Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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