guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
