even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
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He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize