I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
