ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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