We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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