youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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